Did you know that the first therapy session is considered one of the most important sessions in the psychoanalytically-oriented therapeutic process? There is a saying that “the end is in the beginning” in our circles and under the right circumstances, we, psychoanalytic psychotherapists and psychoanalysts, pay special attention to those first few meetings.
Maybe that’s why making it to the first appointment is also the hardest step for many people. I get plenty of inquiries about scheduling an appointment and beginning treatment and despite my experience with this, I am still surprised when people are unable to follow through and actually make it to the session.
It can be scary to take that first step and show up at the door of a stranger’s office, asking for help and admitting that something doesn’t feel quite right with you or your kid. For this reason, I decided to write this post and remove some of the uncertainty surrounding the first psychotherapy visit.
I remember making that initial phone call myself – I was still an undergraduate student in Psychology and was told that in order to be able to practice psychoanalytic psychotherapy and help others, I have to go through my own work. It was a good excuse to start therapy, though truth be told, as any other human being, I had my own set of problems I needed solved.
I had already seen my therapist in the psychoanalytic circles so at least I knew who she was and what she was going to be like. It may be helpful to know a little bit about your therapist before you actually meet him or her in person to ease some of the anxiety of that first appointment:
- Read his (or her) bio on his website or other therapy websites,
- Find her publications or blog posts that tell you a little about her approach to treatment
- Research what his specialities are and what separates him from other clinicians
- Call the therapist for a brief phone consultation before you request an appointment. (I’ve linked to the same information on my website, to give you an example of what to look for.)
Once you’ve identified your ideal therapist for you or your family (here is an article on how to do that), you’ll want to call her and schedule an appointment. There is no need for detailed explanations. All you need to say is that you are looking for a therapist and you would like to schedule an appointment. (Some people prefer to discuss why they need therapy over the phone but some therapists have assistants, who make the appointments for them, and you will go over the same information in person with your therapist anyway, so it’s best to keep it short and sweet when you make the initial call.)
Finally, the time of truth – making it to the first session. It’s normal to feel anxious, confused, desperate or out of options. Ideally, when the session is over, you would feel hopeful, encouraged, relieved and glad that you took that first step. That’s what I strive for during my first sessions with clients – to make them feel comfortable, accepted, heard and hopeful that there is someone who knows how to help them.
Expect to answer some questions; be listened to attentively; to tell your story or part of it, and to ask your own questions if you have any. Expect to answer the two most common questions, “What do you hope to get out of therapy?” and “What brings you in for therapy?” And lastly, expect to schedule your next appointment at the end and, hopefully, begin your journey to a happier, healthier life.
If you are someone, who has a positive experience in therapy, please, share in the comments below your story of your first therapy appointment and how you overcame the fear of actually making it to the first session.
If you’d like to talk more about how I can help you or your family, please, contact me with your questions.